Oh my God, look at that bald guy over there He's so bald His head is so smooth, don't you just wanna touch it Is that weird? Am I being bad? He's gotta be rich I bet he'd be a really good dad Oh my God, you have a boyfriend, Beck I know, but, my boyfriend has hair Yeah I'm bald, on top Yeah I'm bald, on top Bald on my head, number one on the charts Yeah I'm bald, on top I'm bald, on top No I don't got hair but number one in your heart, yeah Bald, on top Bal-, bald on my head, number one on the charts Bald, on top I'm bald, on top No I don't got hair but number one in your heart, yeah 1 Trait, balder than ever My dome is shinin' so bright it's like my platinum records There was a time, when I had hair on my noggin It was about the same time that my dick wouldn't function But now I'm balding, bawling, no more eating the ramen I'm sitting courtside with Common drinking tea with the Dalai Lama, cause I'm rich Every single hair that I lost was another stock that I bought A bottle of stocks that I bought You try to step Yeah, you're looking dumb with your long hair So full and thick, I grab it when I throw you down the stairs Yeah, cause I'm strong, yo I'm on that Jason Statham You've got a thick flow, and probably kids in your basement I'm with your girl, bro She oilin' up my head She said she wishes she was datin' me and you was dead So take that Rogaine and throw it straight into the trash Full head of hair, John Stamos, yeah he could kiss my ass Yeah I'm bald, on top Yeah I'm bald, on top Bald on my head, number one on the charts Yeah I'm bald, on top I'm bald, on top No I don't got hair but number one in your heart, yeah Bald, on top Bal-, bald on my head, number one on the charts Bald, on top I'm bald, on top No I don't got hair but number one in your heart, yeah Thinner than ever, feelin' the weather Smooth like silk for pleasure Balder than ever Are you on our side? Are you an ally? Are you gonna stand with the bald guys? They wish they could be us, so they try to spear us Spoutin' on the news that they fear us Don't you ever think about changing who you are for someone else Just be yourself Yeah, fuck the rest and just be a star Don't you ever think about changing who you are for someone else Yeah, fuck the rest and just be a star Oh, you're sad cause you're bald, little bald man? Step the fuck up, man Grow a pair of nuts, man Time to take the world back, this is our shot Show 'em that we can't stop Yeah, cause we're bald, on top Bald, on top Yeah I'm bald, on top Yeah I'm bald, on top Bald on my head, number one on the charts Yeah I'm bald, on top I'm bald, on top No I don't got hair but number one in your heart, yeah Bald, on top Bal-, bald on my head, number one on the charts Bald, on top I'm bald, on top No I don't got hair but number one in your heart, yeah