I talked one on one with the Pope today And he's REALLY pissed off He told me, and I quote, "I hate this fuckin' job..." He ranted on and on about how much he wishes He could have lived his "true dreams" and instead He had to settle for being the most highly respected Religious official on earth. I was shocked to hear about how he wanted to Open up his own used-car lot. I can see the commercials now, "And if you buy a car in the next month, We will give you a free communion and no extra charge!" But no, he's miserable. I met his wife... Yeah, he's married. Not many people know this, her name is Helga and she lives in A secret hideout place underneath The Amazon River. The Pope knows nobody will find her there Since the piranhas would eat anyone alive. The Pope never gets bothered by the piranhas They know "he's the pope" and wouldn't want To go to "Fish Hell". He told me about how much he hates waving to Everyone at the stupid gatherings and services He told me how much he hates bread and wine And would much rather have some meat and a Jolt cola. I feel sorry for the guy Actually, it could be an entertaining job. I'm sure he gets lots of benefits from it. I bet Visa never turned down one of his credit applications... "Sorry Pope, your credit isn't good enough for us." "Ha Ha! Fuck you then! You're going straight to hell!" "Oh! Ummmm, what was I thinking!? Here's a Visa-Gold! Here, have five of 'em!" Maybe if I aspire to start my own used-car lot I could become the pope too....