[Eloise] I guess I have to be a lady Smiling and waving Constantly obeying I guess I need a prince To come and save me Even if I don’t need saving I guess I must sit on a throne I don’t own Raising the babies we made all alone I guess as a lady there’s just some things I’ll never know But if I were a man I’d go to Japan Maybe swim in the seine And learn to speak French I’d have the whole world in the palm of my hand I’d finally do what I could but I can’t If I were a man [Penelope] Eloise, I must tell you something [Eloise] Tell mе [Penelope] I've come to know of a woman who is with child [Eloise] Is it a lady or a maid? [Penelope] It's a maid [Eloise] I didn't know one of your maids wеre married [Penelope] She's not married [Eloise] She’s not married? How can a woman come to be with child if she's not married? [Penelope] Well, I don't know [Eloise] We need to find out, so it doesn't happen to us! [Eloise] I guess I have to go to banquets Banquets make me anxious Acting rather shameless I guess I need a gown Down past my ankles Doing up my hair in tangles I guess I have to sit still and look pretty Dance till I'm proper dizzy Throw away the life that I've been missing But if I were a man I'd summer in Canne Maybe play in the sand And wear my own pants I'd have the whole world in the palm of my hand I'd finally fly far away from the nest If I were a man There'll be no ladies and lords Just the world to explore And I don’t care if it’s all like a bore No extravagant balls or gentlemen calls And I don't give a rat if he's handsome and tall I don't want to settle and squawk I'll never leave unless for a delicate walk Oh-oh-oh-oh What if I, what if I want to fly? ‘Cause if I were a man I'd go to Japan Maybe swim in the seine And learn to speak French I'd have the whole world in the palm of my hand I’d finally do what I could, but I can't If I were a man If I were a man I'd have the whole world in the palm of my hand I’d finally do what I could, but I can't If I were a man