Chris: We're sitting here today with film star Natilalie Portman. Natalie: Hello Chris: So Natalie, tell us what a day in the life of Natalie Portman is like? Natalie: Do you really want to know? Chris: Please tell us. Natalie (Rap) I don't sleep motherf*cker off that Yak and the durbin' Doin' 120 getting' head while I'm swerving (Seth: Damn Natalie, you a crazy chick.) Yo, shut the fuck up and suck my dick. I'm bustin' dudes valves like gushers motherf*cker. Pull up to NBC and smack the sh*t outta Jeff Zucker. What you want Natalie? (To drink and fight!) What you need Natalie? (To f*ck all night!) Don't test me when I'm crazy off that airplane group Put my foot down your throat til your sh*t's in my shoe. Leave you screamin, pay for my dry-cleaning F*ck your man it's my name that he's screamin? Chris: I'm sorry Natalie, are we to believe that you condone driving while intoxicated? Natalie: I never said that I was a role model Chris: But, what about the kids that look up to you, do you have a message for them? Natalie (Rap): All the kids lookin up to me can suck my dick It's Portman motherf*cker, drink til I'm sick Slit your throat and pour nitrous down the hole Watch you laugh and cry While I laugh, you die And to all the dudes, you know I'm talking to you (We love you Natalie!) I wanna f*ck you too! (P!) It's for Portman! (P!) It's for p*ssies! I'll kill your f*ckin dog for fun, so don't push me Chris: Well Natalie, I'm surprised, all this coming from a Harvard graduate? Natalie: Well, there's a lot you may not know about me. Chris: Really, such as? Natalie (Bridge): When I was in Harvard I smoked weed everyday I cheated every test and snorted all the yay I gotta def posse, you gotta lot of dudes I sit right down on your face and take sh*t Andy (Refrain): Natalie, you are a bad ass bitch (Hell Yeah!) And I'll always pay for your dry-cleaning When my sh*t gets in your shoe (What!) As for the drug use Well I can't vouch for that My dick is scared of you (Ooh) Chris: Natalie, one final question, if you could steal a smooch from any guy in Hollywood who would it... (Natalie hits Chris with a chair) Natalie: No more questions. (What!)