G C A D
I woke up the first morning and I felt very bad
G C A D
I wondered if it might have been something that I'd had
G C A D
So I went to my doctor, a very learned man
G C A D G
Knowing that he'd have the problem well in hand
[Pre Chorus]
G C A D
He said, 'Fellow my poor fellow, you don't look very up'
G C A D
'Could you please give me a cough and pee into this cup?'
G C A D
He pondered for a minute then he said, 'you've got the flu'
G C A D G
'Here take these pills who knows what they may do'
N.C.
He gave me
[Chorus]
G Em C A
Tylenol and Clearasil and butanol and tennis balls
G Em C A
And water from Niagara Falls and hormones from Japan
G Em C A
And vitamins and paraffins and some beta carotines
G Em C A G
And bits of tuna and dolphin that he got from a can
[Verse 2]
G C A D
I woke up the second morning, and felt worse than the first
G C A D
My head was full of mucus. I swore that it would burst
G C A D
My skin was cold and clammy and my hands were large and green
G C A D G
So I went to my doctor his knowledge for to glean
N.C.
He said
[Pre Chorus]
G C A D
'Fellow, my poor fellow, what have you done wrong?'
G C A D
'If you followed my instructions, your illness would be gone'
G C A D
I told him but I took everything you gave
G C A D G
So he gave me some more and told me to 'go away'
N.C.
He gave me
[Chorus]
G Em C A
Tylenol and Clearasil and butanol and tennis balls
G Em C A
And water from Niagara Falls and hormones from Japan
G Em C A
And vitamins and paraffins and some beta carotines
G Em C A G
And bits of tuna and dolphin that he got from a can
[Verse 1]
G C A D
I woke the third morning and found out I was dead
G C A D
There was six feet of dirt right above my head
G C A D
My friends were at the funeral saying bye to me
G C A D G
Then I heard that doctor giving the eulogy
He said,
[Pre Chorus]
G C A D
'Fellow that poor fellow, oh, I should have known'
G C A D
'That he would take too many pills when left all alone'
G C A D
So here I lie forever cursing my sorry lot
G C A D G
For I'm so full of chemicals that I shall never rot
N.C.
'Cause I took
[Chorus]
G Em C A
Tylenol and Clearasil and butanol and tennis balls
G Em C A
And water from Niagara Falls and hormones from Japan
G Em C A
And vitamins and paraffins and some beta carotines
G Em C A G
And bits of tuna and dolphin that he got from a can
[Chorus]
G Em C A
Tylenol and Clearasil and butanol and tennis balls
G Em C A
And water from Niagara Falls and hormones from Japan
G Em C A
And vitamins and paraffins and some beta carotines
G Em C A G
And bits of tuna and dolphin that he got from a can
[Outro]
G C G
And I won't do that again
