Why can't a woman be more like a man Men are so honest, so thoroughly square Eternally noble, historically fair Who when you win will always give your back a pat Why can't a woman be like that Why does ev'ryone do what the others do Can't a woman learn to use her head Why do they do everything their mothers do Why don't they grow up like their father instead Why can't a woman take after a man Men are so pleasant, so easy to please Whenever you're with them, you're always at ease Would you be slighted if I didn't speak for hours Of course not Would you be livid if I had a drink or two Nonsense Would you be wounded if I never sent you flowers Never Why can't a woman be like you One man in a million may shout a bit Now and then there's one with slight defects One perhaps whose truthfulness you doubt a bit But by and large we are a marvelous sex Why can't a woman behave like a man Men are so friendly, good-natured and kind A better companion you never will find If I were hours late for dinner would you bellow Of course not If I forgot your silly birthday, would you fuss Nonsense Would you complain if I took out another fellow Never Why can't a woman be like us Why can't a woman be more like a man Men are so decent, such regular chaps Ready to help you through any mishaps Ready to buck you up whenever you up whenever you are glum Why can't a woman be a chum Why is thinking something women never do Why is logic never even tried Straightening up their hair is all they ever do Why don't they straighten up the mess that's inside Why can't a woman be more like a man If I were a woman who'd been to a ball Been hailed as a princess to one and to all Would I start weeping like a bathtub overflowing Carry on as if my home were in a tree Would I run off and never tell me where I'm going Why can't a woman be like me