Colleen, Colleen Oh, I'm aching for you Colleen, Colleen My heart's breaking for you Now, Jock sat in the emergency Ward as nervous as he could be Nurse Colleen said Now, what's that there just above your knee? He said: Oh, that's my sporran, ma'am She said Now, there's a scream For ten whole minutes I've been trying to give it a saucer of cream Colleen, Colleen Oh, I'm aching for you Colleen, Colleen My heart's breaking for you She rubbed me thumb with liniment And it turned me thumb all red I said: That made it smart So she rubbed some on me head And I couldn't eat peas with me knife and fork She said: Now, never you mind She went, and she got a celery stalk And we rolled them down one at a time Colleen, Colleen Oh, I'm aching for you Colleen, Colleen My heart's breaking for you Now, she's got a touch of the foul pest And she acts in a very odd way She thinks that she's a chicken And she cackles all-day Oh, send for the psychiatrist Her poor old father begged But Mum says Let the girl alone You know we need the eggs Colleen, Colleen Oh, I'm aching for you Colleen, Colleen My heart's breaking for you Now, we've married And we've settled in a cottage near Ravout The bed is all broken And the springs are sticking out But when I recall our nights together My heart, it wants to sing We kissed all through the winter And made love right through the spring Colleen, Colleen Oh, I'm aching for you Colleen, Colleen My heart's breaking for you