It's the Egg Marketing Board Tango In other words, the dance of love You go down to the Palais And you're eager for a dance You see a lovely stranger And your eyes meet quite by chance She's warm and she's desirable With lips meant to be kissed So, you stand eight feet apart And do the twist Oh, Lord! But in the tango, you get the chance To hold her, oh, so near And you gaze into her lovely eyes of blue And while you're dancing You whisper sweet nothings in her ear And she says: Sweet nothing doing Back to you You give her ear a nibble You give her cheek a peck You've got her in a grip of steel You're breathing down her neck And then she says those magic words That thrill you through and through You've been eating pickled onions, haven't you? Oh, poo! Once I met a girl called Kitty Who was pretty as could be She lived up in the city And she asked me 'round to tea But pretty, witty Kitty She tried to pull my leg So I hit her, what a pity With a soft-boiled egg Then, the wireless played a tango And I held her in my arms As we swayed, and we glided 'round the room And when her dad came in We carried on, alas I didn't know He was deaf and he couldn't hear the tune He punched me in the ear 'ole And he hit me with a vase He chased me down the garden And he kicked me on the grass So now, I swear I'm finished As true as stars above With the tango, the dance of love