He came from out of nowhere, and he terrified the west No shotgun, no six-shooter and no badge upon his chest But whenever he came into town, the population hid He was known as the halitosis kid Now, one day, kid rode into town to get advice from Dr. Dawning Who said, rinse your mouth out with a cuppa horse manure each morning Kid said, will that cure my halitosis? Will that get rid of it? He said, well, no, it won't, but it will tone it down a bit Now, kid, he loved a woman, and the woman loved him too You may say that's impossible, and how can this be true? Well, she'd had an operation, or she'd lost her sense of smell She was known as lucky lulu bell Now, kid, he had a rival who was often heard to yell By heck, I mean to have my wicked way with lulu bell! But he belched, made rude noises, and his soul was pitch black And they called him thunderclap The thunder had a partner, he was squeaky clean He made his own clothes on a brand-new sewing machine His chaps, his silky shirt upon, he had a pink sombrero He was known as the gay caballero Now, you see, that villain thunderclap and his pal gay caballero They're convinced the end's in sight for our courageous hero But there's one thing they ain't thought of There's one thing they don't know The kid's halitosis is quite mild Compared to his B. O