Now, I don't want you folks to misconstrue What I'm about to say to you But I'm gonna tell you about the women in my life Now, I know some gals are real refined But I always seem to get the other kind And maybe that's why I've never found a wife Now, I used to know a gal in Crewe She was five foot two and eyes of blue And, well, she told me that her name was Lottie But I think she was funny in the head 'Cause she used to sleep underneath the bed Her parents thought she was a little potty But I kinda liked the way she'd smile So I went around with her for a while And I kinda thought of her as my bride-to-be I said: You're the one girl in my life And I'd like to have you for my wife She said: Now, what would your wife do with me? Beware of wild women, those wild, wild women Those wild, wild women around Beware of wild women, those wild, wild women And never ever let 'em get you down Now, one day, I met a movie star She was just getting out of a Rolls-Royce car And she was all covered in diamonds and mink Now, I kinda like a gal with money And this one, well, she was a real honey So I said: Maybe, one day, you and I could have a little drink She said: You're just my kinda man She stuck a phone number in my hand She said: Now, call me up next time that you're in town I said: Is this your penthouse? She said: No: It's the fish and chip shop down below But you just call me up, and they'll call me down Beware of wild women, those wild, wild women Those wild, wild women around Beware of wild women, those wild, wild women And never ever let 'em get you down Now, I was in a Chelsea bar one day And there was a chap, stood about ten feet away And we was both admiring a gal about twenty-one I said: You just can't help but stare At that cute little chick with the long blonde hair He said: That chick just happens to be my son I said: I didn't mean to offend You must allow me to make amend I mean, at least let me buy you another rum I said: You must think me an awful cad I didn't know you was his dad He said: I'm not, you twit, I'm his mum! Beware of wild women, those wild, wild women Those wild, wild women around Beware of wild women, those wild, wild women And never ever let 'em get you down