Anya: This is the man That I plan to entangle Isn't he fine? My claim to fame Was to maim and to mangle Vengeance was mine But I'm out of the biz The name I made I'll trade for his The only trouble is... I'll never tell Xander: She is the one She's such wonderful fun Such passion and grace Warm in the night When I'm right in her tight - Embrace, tight embrace! I'll never let her go The love we've known can only grow There's just one thing that - no I'll never tell Xander and Anya: 'Cause there's nothing to tell Anya: He snores Xander: She wheezes Anya: Say 'housework' and he freezes Xander: She eats these skeezy cheeses That I can't describe Anya: I talk He breezes Xander: She doesn't know what 'please' is Anya: His penis got diseases From a Chumash tribe Xander and Anya: The vibe gets kind of scary Xander: Like she thinks I'm ordinary Anya: Like it's all just temporary Xander: Like her toes are kind of hairy Xander and Anya: But it's all very well 'Cause god knows, I'll never tell Anya: When things get rough, he Just hides behind his Buffy Now look - he's gettin' huffy 'Cause he knows that I know Xander: She clings She's needy She's also really greedy She never - Anya: His eyes are beady Xander: This is my verse! Hello? She - (tempo changes, Anya dances) Anya: (spoken) Look at me! I'm dancin' - crazy! (Xander joins in - dance break continues) Xander and Anya: You know Xander: You're quite the charmer Anya: My knight in armor Xander: You're the cutest of the Scoobies With your lips as red as rubies And your firm yet supple - Tight embrace! (dance break - fast then slow) Anya: He's swell Xander: She's sweller Anya: He'll always be my feller Xander: That's why I'll never tell her That I'm petrified Anya: I've read this tale There's wedding, then betrayal I know that come the day I'll want to run and hide Anya and Xander: I lied I said it's easy I've tried But there's these fears I can't quell Xander: Is she looking For a pot of gold? Anya: Will I look good When I've gotten old? Xander: Will our lives become too stressful If I'm never that successful? Anya: When I get so worn and wrinkly That I look like David Brinkley? Xander: Am I crazy? Anya: Am I dreamin'? Xander: Am I marrying a demon? Xander and Anya: We could really raise the beam In makin' marriage a hell So thank god, I'll never tell I swear that I'll never tell Xander: My lips are sealed Anya: I take the fifth Xander: Nothin' to see Move it along Xander and Anya: I'll never... Tell!