If I like it, I'm in trouble, if I love it, I'm dead Why does everything fun put a gun to my head? If it thrills me, it'll kill me, pull me six feet deep If the apple's so bad, why's it taste so sweet? I went cocaine to Cola, straight to bottled water I went diesel to electric, but the globe is gettin' hotter I can't even watch porn, 'cause it's bad for my wrist And if liquor's so evil, why's it stopping the twitch? I went dairy to almonds, straight to being vegan 'Cause they told me it was murder, and I don't like to beef And I can't even shop at Walmart 'cause they're callin' 'em crooks And I would love to read about it, but they're bad in the books If I like it, I'm in trouble, if I love it, I'm dead Why does everything fun put a gun to my head? If it thrills me, it'll kill me, pull me six feet deep If the apple's so bad, why's it taste so sweet? If I like it, I'm in trouble, if I love it, I'm dead Why do all the best drugs leave me shaking in bed? If it thrills me, it'll kill me, pull me six feet deep If the apple's so bad, why's it taste so sweet? (Ooh-ooh) Ooh, taste so sweet (ooh-ooh) Went from stripper to girlfriend, straight to being single Now my mom is disappointed, set me up on Christian Mingle Video games are killing my brain cells All the fun girls don't even play well Shit (well, shit), okay (okay) The internet says you're fucked anyway If I like it, I'm in trouble, if I love it, I'm dead Why does everything fun put a gun to my head? If it thrills me, it'll kill me, pull me six feet deep If the apple's so bad, why's it taste so sweet? If I like it, I'm in trouble, if I love it, I'm dead Why do all the best drugs leave me shaking in bed? If it thrills me, it'll kill me, pull me six feet deep If the apple's so bad, why's it taste so sweet? (Ooh-ooh) Ooh, taste so sweet (ooh-ooh) If I like it, I'm in trouble, if I love it, I'm dead Why do all the best drugs keep on killing my friends? If it thrills me, it'll kill me, pull me six feet deep If the apple's so bad, why's it taste so sweet?