A dead loss, No fun, just glum Lying next to someone So don't mention the war Don't question where we stand Or where we fall North, south, east where's best? If I head left It turns out directionless And needle point aside I always find Embroidery leaves me blind Cos I'm too weary to rest Since I noticed Coming second best is close to ideal What fools boredom breeds So much to do So many goldfish to feed And paracetamol I take them all They line my stomach wall With customary thirst I search a water glass But gin hits first Oh don't believe the hype Expectancy will always spoil a party It's tourniquet by crochet My waters break Don't drive for pity's sake Cos I'm too weary to rest Since I noticed Coming second best Is close to ideal