C
I was takin' a trip out to L.A.
F
Toolin' along in my Chevrolet
G7                                        C
Tokin' on a number and diggin' on the radio
C
Just as I crossed the Mississippi line
F
I heard that highway start to whine
G7                                          C
And I knew that left rear tire was about to go.


[Verse 2]
C
Well, the spare was flat and I got uptight
F
'Cause there wasn't a fillin' station in sight
G7                                           C
So I just limped on down the shoulder on the rim
C
I went as far as I could and when I stopped the car
F
It was right in front of this little bar
G7                                                 C
Kind of redneck lookin' joint, called the Dew Drop Inn.


[Verse 3]
C
Well, I stuffed my hair up under my hat
F
And told the bartender that I had a flat
G7                                                  C
And would he be kind enough to give me change for a one
C
There was one thing I was sure proud to see
F
There wasn't a soul in the place, 'cept for him and me
G7                                                      C
And he just looked disgusted and pointed toward the telephone.


[Verse 4]
C
I called up the station down the road a ways
F
And he said he wasn't very busy today
G7                                                            C
And he could have somebody there in just 'bout ten minutes or so
C
He said now you just stay right where you're at
F
And I didn't bother tellin' the durn fool
G7                                          C
I sure as hell didn't have anyplace else to go.


[Verse 5]
C
I just ordered up a beer and sat down at the bar
F
When some guy walked in and said; "Who owns this car?
G7                                                  C
With the peace sign, the mag wheels and four on the floor?"
C
Well, he looked at me and I damn near died
F
And I decided that I'd just wait outside
G7                                                C
So I layed a dollar on the bar and headed for the door.


[Verse 6]
C
Just when I thought I'd get outta there with my skin
F
These five big dudes come strollin' in
G7                                                      C
With this one old drunk chick and some fella with green teeth
C
And I was almost to the door when the biggest one
F
Said; "You tip your hat to this lady, son."
G7                                              C
And when I did all that hair fell out from underneath.


[Verse 7]
C
Now the last thing I wanted was to get into a fight
F
In Jackson, Mississippi on a Saturday night
G7                                                      C
'Specially when there was eight of them and only one of me
C
They all started laughin' and I felt kinda sick
F
And I knew I'd better think of somethin' pretty quick
G7                                                            C
So I just reached out and kicked old green-teeth right in the knee.


[Verse 8]
C
He let out a yell that'd curl your hair
F
But before he could move, I grabbed me a chair
G7                                                              C
And said; "Watch him folks, 'cause he's a thouroughly dangerous man."
C
"Well, you may not know it, but this man's a spy
F
He's an undercover agent for the FBI
G7                                                     C
And he's been sent down here to infiltrate the Ku Klux Klan."


[Verse 9]
C
He was still bent over, holdin' on to his knee
F
But everyone else was lookin' and listenin' to me
G7                                         C
And I layed it on thicker and heavier as I went
C
I said; "Would you beleive this man has gone as far
F
As tearin' Wallace stickers off the bumpers of cars
G7                                        C
And he voted for George McGovern for president."


[Verse 10]
C
"He's a friend of them long-haired, hippie type, pinko fags
F
I betcha he's even got a Commie flag
G7                                     C
Tacked up on the wall, inside of his garage
C
He's a snake in the grass, I tell ya guys
F
He may look dumb, but that's just a disguise
G7                                    C
He's a mastermind in the ways of espionage."


[Verse 11]
C
They all started lookin' real suspicious at him
F
And he jumped up an' said; "Now, just wait a minute, Jim
G7                                                  C
You know he's lyin' I've been livin' here all of my life."
C
"I'm a faithfull follower of Brother John Birch
F
And I belong to the Antioch Baptist Church
G7                                                          C
And I ain't even got a garage, you can call home and ask my wife."


[Verse 12]
C
Then he started sayin' somethin' 'bout the way I was dressed
F
But I didn't wait around to hear the rest
G7                                                  C
I was too busy movin' and hopin' I didn't run outta luck
C
And when I hit the ground, I was makin' tracks
F
And they were just takin' my car down off the jacks
G7                                                              C
So I threw the man a twenty an' jumped in an' fired that mother up.


[Verse 13]
C
Mario Andretti woulda sure been proud
F
Of the way I was movin' when I passed that crowd
G7                                             C
Comin' out the door and headin' toward me in a trot
C
And I guess I should-a gone ahead and run
F
But somehow I couldn't resist the fun
G7                                               C
Of chasin' them all just once around the parkin' lot.


[Verse 14]
C
Well, they're headin' for their car, but I hit the gas
F
And spun around and headed them off at the pass
G7                                                     C
I was slingin' gravel and puttin' a ton of dust in the air
C
Ha Ha, well, I had 'em all out there steppin' and fetchin'
F
Like their heads were on fire and their asses was catchin'
G7                                                           C
But I figured I oughta go ahead an split before the cops got there.


[Verse 15]
C
When I hit the road I was really wheelin'
F
Had gravel flyin' and rubber squeelin'
G7                                               C
And I didn't slow down 'til I was almost to Arkansas
C
Well, I think I'm gonna re-route my trip
F
I wonder if anybody'd think I'd flipped
G7                         C
If I went to L.A. - via Omaha.