what didn't kill me left me cold enough to live this lie now i drift desensitized reality has had it's way with this time confidence now lost in comfort of familiar habits i know it's destructive but i can not get past this barricade i boiled up inside too high i've got to pull out of numbing phase hold down this fear push back self doubt i'm most afraid that i will fall to failure so much to say can't get it out it's all a waste chaste forced to indignant taste self propelled rejection it's more than i can take (right now) so sick of hiding from what i can't face so sick of hiding from what i can't face i must get through this wall of insecurity the thought of rejection more than i can take and i've got to get out of this numb phase set numb aside