Eyes have been affixed upon the ceiling for a minute I can tell you're acting different Is it me? Or just the distance? Cause I moved across the country Trying to run from who I was And now reduced myself to nothing In hopes of maybe feeling something Now I'm - Lost Maybe I should take a step back I've been killing myself At what cost? I've been working like a dog Got it from my dad Do it for my mom I need to reach out Ever since I left home Me and my brotha don't talk I've been acting like a cunt But I'm always gonna blame it on a rut Lying awake Feeling like my synapses are setting ablaze Falling out of love with everything that I create I take one step forward just to fall onto my face I don't believe I can be saved I'm lost and so conflicted This loneliness is sinking The only thing I have consistent In my life's addiction Thought I lost my mind But I lost my attentiveness I made you cry Because I swore this time would be different These razor blades are bloody Looks like my sleeves are bleeding I'm fucking lost Lookin to God trying to fix this feeling These thoughts don't come in waves Rather shower me lightly They're so seductive in nature It's like they're tryna invite me I'm so indecisive I just don't know what I want And I've got zero restraint I just don't know when to stop If you give me an escape Then I'll give you what you want But you keep tearing me down I think I've given enough I do this shit to myself I'm growing sick and deranged I've spent 20 whole years slowly rotting my brain The body will follow Cut off the head of the snake I wanna kill myself But I don't have what it takes Lying awake Feeling like my synapses are setting ablaze Falling out of love with everything that I create I take one step forward just to fall onto my face I don't believe I can be saved