Chorus: F G C Am F G C [Intro] C One, two, one, two, three, four... C F Am G [Verse 1: Jesse] C Well, I can't tell if I'm shaking from the DTs or the cold F By the way I'm feeling shitty man, this routine's getting old [Bridge] Am G C Why do I do this? Why?! Why do I do this to myself? [Verse 2: Jesse] C Well, I wake up suffocating cause my lungs are filled with tar F I've wasted far too many hours blacked out at the bar [Bridge] Am G C Why do I do this? Why?! Why do I do this to myself? [Verse 3: Whitney] C Well, I feel so distant from a life I wanted years ago F Torn between this road I'm on and where I called home [Bridge] Am G C Why do I do this? Why?! Why do I do this to myself? [Verse 4: Whitney] C Chained down to a city, to a lover, to a bed F A door has swung right open, I'll just step out here instead [Bridge] Am G C Why do I do this? Why?! Why do I do this to myself? [Chorus] F G I'm self-destructive, no one can save me C Am You asked me if I love you, I said: "maybe" Am Why would you love me? F You should learn to hate me G C I'm going nowhere fast... (Trumpet part one of three!) [Verse 5: Whitney] C Well, you know I'm feeling guilty cause I never seem to call F Even though I'm far away, this world just seems so small [Bridge] Am G C Why do I do this? Why?! Why do I do this to myself? [Verse 6: Whitney] C Bitch though I'm broke I still have money for this beer F The letters that I wrote to you, you can't see them from here [Bridge] Am G C Why do I do this? Why?! Why do I do this to myself? (The Weasel Baby everybody!) [Verse 7: Geoff] C Standing out make a paper's penny and maybe a bit more F My friends far away are the best things that I've got in store [Bridge] Am G C Why do I do this? Why?! Why do I do this to myself? [Verse 8: Geoff] C Driving down the interstate, going way too goddamn fast F A few more hours, we'll be crashing, then later on we'll laugh [Bridge] Am G C Why do I do this? Why?! Why do I do this to myself? (We The Heathens!) [Verse 9: We The Heathens] C All we've had for days on end is liquor, beer, and speed F Don't know what we're doing, but we think we need to eat [Bridge] Am G C Why do I do this? Why?! Why do I do this to myself? [Verse 10: We The Heathens] C We're eastbound on the highway, my friend's broke in Virginia F I've been drinking til I pass out, smoking crack with the RZA! [Bridge] Am G C Why do I do this? Why do I do this to myself? [Chorus] F G I'm self-destructive, no one can save me C Am You asked me if I love you, I said: "maybe" Am Why would you love me? F You should learn to hate me G C I'm going nowhere fast... (Trumpet part two of three!) [Verse 11: Whitney & Jesse] C Well I'm running from my problems, to my problems I ignore F Nevermind my absent mind, fuck what I'm running for [Bridge] Am G C Why do I do this? Why?! Why do I do this to myself? [Verse 12: Whitney & Jesse] C Well, we traveled to New London and got laid out on the floor F Fuck being nice, I swear I will not be nice anymore! [Bridge] Am G C Why do I do this? Why?! Why do I do this to myself? [Chorus] F G I'm self-destructive, no one can save me C Am You asked me if I love you, I said: "maybe" Am Why would you love me? F You should learn to hate me G C I'm going nowhere fast... (Last trumpet part!) [Chorus] F G I'm self-destructive, no one can save me C Am G You asked me if I love you, I said: "maybe" Am Why would you love me? F You should learn to hate me G C I'm going nowhere fast... [Outro] (Mom and dad don't know everything!) (Oh boy)