If I Let the Light In Dear God It's been a minute I haven't called Didn't know what to say I keep thinking about small things The kind that shouldn't hurt this much Moments pass I stay I tell myself I'm fine Like that makes it true I hold it together in public Fall apart in quiet rooms I live close to the edge Not falling Not flying Just, here I'm living inside my ache Watching my sense of self fade out I laugh like nothing touches me But everything does I want to ask for help The words stop halfway I wonder who I'd be If I wasn't afraid of peace I've carried this weight so long It feels wrong to set it down Calm feels unfamiliar Almost unsafe now There are boxes I don't open Names I don't say Calls I don't return Memories I keep folded away I tell myself tomorrow Again I'm living inside my ache Watching my sense of self fade out I laugh like nothing touches me But everything does I want to ask for help The words stop halfway I wonder who I'd be If I wasn't afraid of peace I don't know what's next I don't know who I become I only know I can't stay Where I am forever Outro (Oh) If I let the light in (Oh) Would I disappear? (Oh) Or would I finally feel Like I'm still here?