I hope you get a flat On your way to her house I hope your cute new cat Takes a piss on her couch I hope her high-pitched laugh Drives you clinically insane I hope she leaves you For your best friend, on your wedding day I (ooh) wish I could say that I wish you well (ah-ah) But all that's left to say is: Honey, go to hell 'Cause you'll never, ever, ever Find another girl, quite like me (Ooh, ooh, quite like me, ah-ah) I hope you take her on a picnic And get stung by a bee (ah-ah) I hope you lean in for a kiss With somethin' stuck in your teeth (ah-ah) I hope you trip and fall On your way to her room (ah-ah) I hope she says she has a headache And your balls turn blue We know it isn't greener On her side of the grass (grass) But she's the one you chose So honey, kiss my ass 'Cause you'll never, ever, ever Find another girl quite like me (la, la, la, la) No, you'll never, ever, ever, find another girl quite like me (Ooh, ooh, quite like me, ah-ah) No, you'll never find another girl, baby (Ooh, ooh, quite like me) No, you'll never find another girl like me