Got a notebook under my bed Pages know what's in my head I write shit I can't say out loud Words feel safer on the ground I write 'bout her, I write 'bout home I write 'bout feelin' fuckin' alone Ink don't judge, paper don't yell So I tell it everything I felt I say her name, I cross it out I write bitch 'cause that's the truth right now I say she leaves 'cause she hates this place Runs to arms that ain't my face This diary knows me better than you Knows what I think, knows what I choose I say the things I'm not allowed I scream on paper, not out loud I write 'bout parents I never got 'Bout a life I wanted, but it's not I put it all where I can hide 'Cause nobody's ever gonna read what's inside I write she's gone again tonight Chasin' somethin' that feels more right Younger laughs, fake love, cheap perfume Anything but this quiet room I write she hates the way I am Like I asked to be left with her hands I write I'd trade this whole damn life For mom and dad back every night I choose my words, I choose my pain I choose the truth over pretendin' sane If I can't choose who's raisin' me At least these pages listen to me This diary knows me better than you Knows every wish I never knew I call her names, yeah, I admit But paper don't flinch when I write this shit I don't pray, I don't ask why I just bleed blue lines 'til I'm dry I put it all where I can hide 'Cause nobody's ever gonna read what's inside Floorboard creaks, my heart drops low Hands reach where they shouldn't go She pulls it out, she reads one line That was mine, that was mine Pages tear, paper screams She says I'm evil, says I'm mean Ink on the floor, words half dead I wish I kept 'em in my head This diary knew me better than you Knew what I think, knew what I choose I said the things I'm not allowed I screamed on paper, not out loud I wrote 'bout parents I never got 'Bout a life I wanted, but it's not I put it all where I could hide Just 'cause everyone's gonna read what's inside Room goes quiet, door slams shut Grounded again, 'cause I wrote too much No pages left, no place to run Guess even my thoughts ain't fuckin' mine