First day walkin' in, backpack too big Shoes too old, heart beatin' too quick They stare like I'm somethin' they shouldn't see Like I'm wrong just for bein' me I don't talk much, guess that's my crime I sit alone, countin' lunch time They whisper shit when I pass by Like I don't hear 'em, like I'm blind They laugh when I answer wrong Laugh when I don't answer at all Teacher says: just ignore 'em, John Like that ever fuckin' worked at all They call me weird, they call me slow Ask me why I don't talk, like I know I'm not tryin' to be hard to read I just wish someone would try with me I don't wanna be cool or loud I don't wanna stand out in a crowd I just wanna be understood At least once, if I could They push my books, say: watch your step Say my name like it's a threat I tell myself: don't react But my chest feels like it's gonna crack Teacher sees it, looks away Says boys will be boys:then writes the date Guess pain don't count if it ain't loud Guess quiet kids don't get allowed I sit there starin' at the board Tryin' not to feel ignored They talk 'bout dreams, they talk 'bout plans I'm just tryin' to make it to the end They call me weird, they call me slow Ask me why I don't talk, like I know I'm not tryin' to be hard to read I just wish someone would try with me I don't wanna be cool or loud I don't wanna stand out in a crowd I just wanna be understood At least once, if I could They call me weird, they call me fake Like I chose to be this way I'm not broken, I'm just tired Of explainin' shit they never hear I wanna be anyone else I just wanna hate myself I just wanna be understood At least once, if I could If I disappear, they wouldn't care They'd still laugh, still stare I raise my hand, they cut me off Guess my voice ain't loud enough They say school's the best days of your life If that's true, then I'm fuckin' terrified They call me weird, yeah, that's my name Write it on the wall, spit the same I'm not askin' for sympathy Just someone seein' me I don't need friends that fake it through I don't need a crowd, I need the truth I just wanna be understood At least once, I really would Bell rings, I walk out slow Same shit tomorrow, I already know If anyone asked how I'm doin' I'd tell 'em the truth But nobody's listenin' anyway