jack of all trades master of none even got lost trying to find the M1 ended up in South Shields with a couple of drunks moved to Crouch End suburb of cool took a few drugs acted the fool fell in love with a girl on her harmonium stool went round the world in the back of a van we kept in touch with our only fan he was short and sweet lived in Japan the band broke up round a pool in Bangkok to tell you the truth it didn't come as a shock our days were numbered like hands on a clock so we carried on me and the serious girl had massive hits all round the world we got so big we both became ill flew into London with a bit of a tan caught the train back to Sunderland to see me old man we had bacon and eggs from the same frying pan to walk down the high street avoiding a scrap "are you Dave Stewart?" "yeah" :you're a crap" had a pint in the Beehive then home for a nap got married in France to an Irish colleen I was thirty three she was only thirteen I wore orange but she wore green now I sit and write plays for myself and my sons they keep me amused yeah I have much more fun than big lines of speed at quarter to one on a peaceful Sunday morning