Went to a party I danced all night I drank 16 beers And I started up a fight But now I am jaded You're out of luck I'm rolling down the stairs Too drunk to fuck Too drunk to fuck Too drunk to fuck Too drunk, to fuck I'm too drunk, too drunk, Too drunk to fuck I like your stories I love your gun Shooting out truck tires Sounds like loads and loads of fun But in my room Wish you were dead You ball like the baby In Eraserhead Too drunk to fuck Too drunk to fuck Too drunk, to fuck It's all I need right now Too drunk to fuck Too drunk to fuck Too drunk to fuck Too drunk, to fuck I'm sick soft gooey and cold Too drunk to fuck I'm about to drop My head's a mess The only salvation is I'll never see you again You give me head It makes it worse Take out your fuckin' retainer Put it in your purse I'm too drunk to fuck You're to drunk to fuck Too drunk to fuck It's all I need right now Oh, baby I'm melting like an ice cream bar Oh, baby And now I got diarrhea Too drunk to fuck Yeah, Yeah Yeah, Yeah Yeah, Yeah