Now everybody gather 'round And listen if you would When I tell you every person Needs a way of feeling good Every kitty needs a ball of string And every dog a stick But all you need is a bag of weed To really get a kick One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight A bag of weed, a bag of weed Oh, everything is better With a bag of weed It's the only hope that you'll ever need Cuz' everything is better With a bag of weed Here you go, you're all getting it now When texas people want to feel good They go assault a queer When stupid people need a thrill They rent the rocketeer When Michael Jackson needs a rush He humps a guy like me Right! But all we need is a bag of weed To keep us worry free One, two, three, ho! A bag of weed, a bag of weed Oh, everything is better With a bag of weed Oh, you don't need meth And you don't need speed Cuz' everything is better With a bag of weed Have a go, Brian! As Mr. H. L. Mencken said "The common man's a fool." And just like Helen Keller said "Doof stoo gee nay foo tool." But try and use your heads And don't buy into all the fear Hey! 'Cuz all we need is a bag of weed To make us wanna cheer! And one, two! A bag of weed, a bag of weed Oh, everything is better With a bag of weed You can try and fight But we're all agreed Because everything is better With a bag of weed One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight And one, two, three, four, and a five And a six, and a seven! Ho! A bag of weed, a bag of weed Oh, everything is better With a bag of weed You're a happy guy But you can't proceed Because everything is better with a bag Of Weed! Oh, everything is better with a bag of weed!