It’s clear that I’m addicted before I’ve even started Another thing to control myself over consuming But I’m no good with eating, sometimes it makes me nauseous Avoiding putting the weight on my face again And some people think that’s stupid 'Cause I’ve been called beautiful But it doesn’t matter what you say If you’re trying to cheer me up Maybe I’m realistic 'cause we’re always getting older 24 and I’ve still never been in love, love And I’ve got so much And so I hold onto this focus on something That gets me out of bed in the morning 'Cause when I wake up I’m sad And I’m not saying I need a lover but if I did I know that I’m obsessive With self detrimental thoughts and habits Catastrophizing everything But don’t say that I’m dramatic No I’m just afraid of dying Before I get the chance to be what I’ve wanted to be Since 15 years old when I borrowed Jacob’s guitar And he let me keep it until I’d learned all of pumped up kicks Well a lot has changed since then I’ve sang at his funeral Cos’ he died at 21 but I keep him here in my songs and Hold onto this focus on something That gets me out of bed in the morning 'Cause when I wake up I’m sad And I’m not saying I need a lover but if I did I’d fall into them and slow time with kissing A slightly less lonely life than I’m living But when I wake up I’m sad And I’m not saying I need a lover but if I did But if I did But if I did But if I did Hold onto this focus on something That gets me out of bed in the morning 'Cause when I wake up I’m sad And I’m not saying I need a lover but if I did I’d fall into them and slow time with kissing A slightly less lonely life than I’m living But when I wake up I’m sad And I’m not even sure a lover could fix that