Dental Hygiene Dilemma

Frank Zappa

Composición de: Frank Zappa
Bad Conscience: 
Han min noon toon han toon han 

Good Conscience: 
No, Jeff! 

Bad Conscience: 
Han toon ran toon ran toon 
fran min han toon ran toon 
nan toon fram 

Good Conscience: 
No no no 

Jeff: 
Man, this stuff is great! 
It's just as if Donovan himself 
Had appeared on my very own TV 
With words of peace, love 
And eternal cosmic wisdom...! 
Leading me. Guiding me. 
On paths of everlasting pseudo-karmic 
Negligence in the very midst of my 
Drug induced nocturnally emission 

Good Conscience: 
Oh, I am your good conscience, Jeff 
I know all, I see all 
I am a cosmic love pulse matrix 
Becoming a technicolor interpositive 

Jeff: 
Mm? Where'd you buy that incense? 
It's hip 

Good Conscience: 
It's the same and mysterious, exotic, oriental fragrance as what the Beatles get off on 

Jeff: 
I thought I recognized it 
Sniff. Sniff. Mmm 
What is that, musk? Mmm 

Good Conscience: 
Jeff, I know what's good for you 

Jeff: 
Right 
You're heavy 

Good Conscience: 
Yes, Jeff 
I am your guiding light 
Listen to me 
Don't rip off the towels, Jeff! 

Bad Conscience: 
Piss off, you little nitwit! 

Jeff: 
Hey, man, what's the deal? 

Good Conscience: 
Don't listen to him, Jeff! 
He's no good 
He'll make you do bad things! 

Jeff: 
You mean, he'll make me sin? 

Good Conscience: 
Yes, Jeff 
SIN 

Jeff: 
Wow! 

Bad Conscience: 
Jeff, I'd like to have a word with you... 
About your soul 

Good Conscience: 
No, don't listen, Jeff! 

Bad Conscience: 
Why are you wasting your life 
Night after night 
Playing this comedy music? 

Jeff: 
You're right 
I'm too heavy to be in this group! 

Bad Conscience: 
Comedy music... 

Good Conscience: 
Jeff, your soul! 

Chorus: 
Oh... Too heavy to... 

Jeff: 
In this group all I ever get to do 
Is play Zappa's comedy music 
He eats! 

Good Conscience: 
Jeff! 

Jeff: 
I get so tense! 

Bad Conscience: 
Of course you do, my boy 

Jeff: 
The stuff he makes me do 
Is always off the wall! 

Bad Conscience: 
That's why it would be best 
To leave this stern employ 

Jeff: 
And quit the group! 

Bad Conscience: 
You'll make it big! 

Jeff: 
That's right! 

Bad Conscience: 
Of course! 

Jeff: 
And then I won't be small! 

Chorus: 
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha 

Jeff: 
Cough! Cough! 
Ahmet Ertegun used this towel as a bathmat 
Six weeks ago at a rancid motel in Orlando, 
Florida, with the highest mildew rating of 
Any commercial lodging facility within the 
Territorial limits of the United States 
Naturally excluding tropical possessions... 

Cough! Cough! 
It's still damp! 
What an aroma! 
This is the best I ever got off! 
What can I say about this elixir? 

Try it on steaks 
Cleans nylons, small craft warnings 
it's made for the home 
The office 
On fruits! 

Bad Conscience: 
This is the real you, Jeff 
Rip off a few more ashtrays 
Get rid of some of that inner tension 
Quit the comedy group! 
Get your own group together! 
Heavy! 
Like Grand Funk! 
Or Black Sabbath... 

Good Conscience: 
No, Jeff... 

Jeff: 
Like Coven! 

Good Conscience: 
Peace... Love... 

Bad Conscience: 
Bollocks! 

Jeff: 
What can I say about this elixir? 

Mark: 
Jeff is gone out there on that stuff! 

Good Conscience: 
He should have never have use the elixir 
And only stuck to the incense 
Oh, Atlantis... 

Howard: 
That was Billy the Mountain 
Dressed up like Donovan fading out 
On the wall mounted TV screen 
Jeff is flipping out. 
Road fatigue! 
We've got to get him back to normal 
Before Zappa points up and steals it 
And makes him do it in the movie! 

Bad Conscience: 
You have a brilliant career ahead of you 
My boy 
Just get out of this group! 

Mark: 
Howard, that was Studebacher Hoch dressed up 
Like Jim Pons, giving career guidance to the 
Bass player of a rock oriented comedy group. 
Jeff's imagination has gone beyond 
The fringe of audience comprehension 

Howard: 
Jeff, Jeff, it's me, the Fluorescent Leech! 

Mark: 
Jeff, Jeff, it's me! Eddie! 

Jeff: 
Wooow! 
What can I say about this elixir? 

Mark: (Canal direito) 
Put it on your steaks, uh, send it overseas, 
(...) ground, and put it on your surfboard 
so you won't slip off, and try it on your 
(...), and on the, the red balloons, you 
can blow up all balloons with it. Put it 
on your... on your... on your pizzas, put 
it on your shoes, tie your mic with it, 
and fill up your tires with it 

Howard: (centro) 
Use it to clean your swimming pool 
Sell it to your mother tell her 
It's a Rit tie-dye kit 
You won't even believe what'll 
Happen when you starch your shirt with it 
Ironing goes easier and your car windows 
Never looked better in your whole life 
Ladies and gentlemen, you can inhale it 
And it makes your voice three keys higher 
And you can't even stand what happens 
When you put it on your hair 
As hair tonic, heh, heh. 
And if you ever tried it as it 

Jim Pons: (canal esquerdo) 
Soak your shirts in it, 
soak your teeth in it 
Let it play the piano 
Follow it around the block 
Wear it instead of jeans 
Bathe you puppies with it 
Feed it to your ducks 
Use it 
Instead of chlorine in your swimming pool 
Breathe it. Love it 

Jeff: 
What? 
Woooooow! 
What can I? 
Woooooow! 
What? 
What can I say about this? 
Woooooow!
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