Chorus & Mark: Penis dimension Penis dimension Penis dimension is worrying me I can't hardly sleep at night 'Cause of penis dimension Do you worry? Do you worry a lot? No! Do you worry? Do you worry and moan That the size of your cock Is not monstrous enough? It's your penis dimension Penis dimension Mark: Hi, you friends. Now just be honest about it. Did you ever considered the possibility That your penis, and in the case of Many dignified ladies that the size of the tities Themselves might provide elements of Subconscious tension? Weird, twisted anxieties that could force A human being to have to become a politician A policeman, a Jesuit monk A rock'n'roll guitar player A wino. You name it Or in the case of the ladies, the ones that Can't afford a silicone beef-up They'd become writers of hot books! Howard: "Manuel, the gardener, placed his burning phallus in her quivering quim..." Mark: Yes, or they become Carmelite nuns! Howard: "Gonzo, the lead guitar player, placed this mutated member in her slithering slit..." Mark: Oh, or racehorse jockeys... There is no reason why you or your loved one should suffer. Things are bad enough without the size of your organ adding even more misery to the troubles of the world! Howard: Right on! Right on! Mark: Now, if you are a lady and you got munchkin tits, you can console yourself with this age old line from primary school: M-H: Anything over a mouthful is wasted! Mark: Yes! And isn't it the truth? And if you're a guy, one night you're at a party And you're trying to be cool I mean, you aren't even wearing underwear You being so cool And somebody hits on you one night And he looks you up and down and he says, uh Howard: Eight inches or less! Mark: Well, let me tell you brothers, that's the time when you got to turn around and look that sonofabitch right between the eyes And you got to tell him these words: