Well, I'm a piece of white trash Living in the suburbs Working minimum wage 'Cause I'm dumber than a turd Dropped out of fifth grade Living on welfare I don't have an id But I don't really care I couldn't find a job It really was quite tiring And then I saw an ad Ice cream man now hiring I took my mother's mini-van That stolen piece of crap Boom kiddies The ice cream man is back I am the ice cream man Running over kids in my mini-van Well, I'm driving down the street Shootin' kids with a 40 Listen in closely This is a good story I guess a little skaterpunk Didn't really like me I said "what you want?" And he said "bite me!" So, I took the scooper And shoved it up his pooper And he's been limping for days And I just sat I sat and laughed As the little punk waddled away