2017 The first time you messaged me First fan I ever had Put me on when you were sad You said you hated growing up You were sure that I'd blow up Shared my songs with all your friends I could barely pay the rent Singing to an empty room But I knew what I meant to you You got the x's tattooed Reminding me I had you Never got to to thank you I wouldn't be here without you Without you, without you believing And now that I'm here without you Without you, the words have no meaning A promise was spoken You're gone and I'm broken Now I'm barely holdin' on, holdin' on I wouldn't be here without you Why am I here without you? 2021 Told me that you've come undone Lost your job and lost your dad Your biggest fan is all you had X's covered up with scars On your arm, from self-harm Message me, I don't reply I wish I knew it was goodbye Singing to a crowded room Saved a seat, I looked for you I made it to your hometown Guess I'm on my own now I wish I got to save you I wouldn't be here without you Without you, without you believing And now that I'm here without you Without you, the words have no meaning A promise was spoken You're gone and I'm broken Now I'm barely holdin' on, holdin' on I wouldn't be here without you Why am I here without you? This is dedicated If you put me on your playlist If you showed up to the stages If I never get to say this I'm proud of you For all the shit that's drowning you And all the noise surrounding you Hope you find what I found in you And I hope that you grow old with me We turn up till we're seventy Play me at your wedding and you never leave If you ever need anything And I don't pick up, well, you still got a friend in me Wish I said all that to Heather now I just hope she rests in peace