I wanna smash my face against the wall for even thinking 'bout it It's not me and I know So just forget about it Just let me understand why I'm having thoughts that I ain't had before I need to know before it's too late So let me dwell in the madness That's in my head and put an end to the bastard Just give me one more day And I swear I'll never think like this again I promise I'm not lying, I'm trying my hardest I promise I'm not lying, I'm trying my hardest Am I? Am I? I wanna smash my face against the wall for even thinking 'bout it It's not me and I know But when I'm gone they won't even notice There's only so many times that I can fake a smile That I can fake a smile But when I choose to show face They reply: Man, it's been awhile (Man, it's been awhile) (It's been awhile) How can I control the thoughts in my head When I can't even face the day on my own? It's fucking hard to exist Was there something I messed up? Something I missed? Cause I'm telling you man These thoughts have taken over me Make me see Make me breathe Make me live Make me live I've forgotten how to be happy It's not that I don't remember It's just not something I can find 'Cause I don't know what's happened The best I can do is show face and fake a smile It's too fucking hard to exist Everything is against me and I feel so guilty for feeling this way Maybe it's for the best I pushed everyone away Maybe it's for the best Maybe it's for the best And so The real answer is I don't wanna be here anymore I've pushed everyone away that I love Maybe it's for the best that I go That I