Looking at the present's fucking sad Yes, I tried the blue pill Five times what I should have had And no, I'm not ok, but nothing's broke Maybe god will let me die when my dreams go up in smoke They're out there for me I know it Too far away to see But I'm always moving toward it It's getting hard to breathe, I don't know why The air looks clear to me But the atmosphere is sordid I'm not about to complain That's too much time and energy Too long a walk to try to turn back And I'm not the same It's plain enough to see But some of us are living in the past Oh, but looking at the present's fucking sad Yes, I tried the blue pill Five times what I should have had Jumped out of fire into frostbite Arms too weak to climb But still too strong to let go Maybe god will let me die when my dreams go up in smoke Happy new year from the ashes I gave my lungs a good telling My organs forty lashes My calendar is black I'd make new year's resolutions But the universe is going on attack Oh, but looking at the present's fucking sad Yes, I tried the blue pill Five times what I should have had Jumped out of fire into frostbite Been drowning inside out Since before I woke Maybe god will let me die when my dreams go up in smoke Feed the fire all you want, you won't take me Knock me down all you want, watch it save me Somehow I'm moving on, and it pains me They all may want me gone, let it chase me I'm not about to complain That's too much time and energy Too long a walk to try to turn back And today was the same I nearly dodged a bullet But the universe is going on attack Oh, but looking at the present's fucking sad Yes, I tried the blue pill Five times what I should have had Jumped out of fire into frostbite Been drowning inside out Since before I woke Maybe god will let me die when my dreams go up in smoke Maybe god will let me die when my dreams go up in smoke