Well, if the world's an oyster in your stew You know you've got a hungry friend Your favorite horse has turned to glue Don't kid yourself about the end Well now, if life ain't worth livin' and time ain't no fun You better jump out the window and run Trouble, trouble round your door The stork has left your chimney bare Your best friend thinks you're out to lunch And satisfaction just ain't there Well now, if Christmas comes and Santa's dead A stocking covers up your head