They told us dreams come true We forgot nightmares are dreams too I learned your heartbeat like a song I can't forget Now I'm scared of what comes after your last breath So I keep practicing goodbye like it's a cure But every goodbye makes the ending feel more sure I smile in front of people like I'm built to be okay Then I go home with silence and it calls me by my name I'm trying to get ahead of it, trying not to lose my mind 'Cause grief don't knock it just arrives on time I'm practicing your absence I'm practicing your absence So when you vanish I don't break But I break I'm practicing your absence Over and over again If I lose you in my head enough times Will it hurt less? I touched your final heartbeat, felt it flicker, then go still I waited for the world to change it never will The wind kept moving, traffic kept its pace Like nothing happened, like it didn't take your place The days stayed cruel and normal, the light stayed on the same No warning in the sky, no mercy in my veins The only thing that changed was the everyday I wore Now it doesn't fit my body like it did before I'm practicing your absence I'm practicing your absence So when you vanish I don't break But I break If I lose you in my head enough times Will it hurt less? If I lose you in my head enough times Will it hurt less? Toys left in the corner, untouched like a prayer Extra sheets on the bed, like you're still there And I hate how the world stays clean and free Like your leaving didn't rearrange me I'm practicing your absence I'm practicing your absence I tried to make a home for the hurt Now the hurt lives in my chest I'm practicing your absence Over and over again If I lose you in my head enough times Will it hurt less? Will it hurt less? Dreams come true, nightmares too Is my pain your freedom? Is all of my pain your freedom?