I was in my watering-hole with some ugly friends of mine When the door came off its hinges like a cork from fizzy wine He said: My name is Jesus, I'm the leader of the band Got to set up my equipment, if you boys can lend a hand oh, yeah. When Jesus came to play He set that bandstand jumping, yeah, and he cranked it up so loud And he moved up to the microphone: Had the attention of the crowd He said: My name is Jesus, going to turn your head around I'm going to make this easy, got no time to mess around oh, yeah, when Jesus came to play I got no twelve disciples, and I got no cross to bear If you thought you had me crucified, I guess you weren't there oh, yeah, when Jesus came to play, when Jesus came He sang about three or four numbers but we'd heard it all before We boys were getting restless: No girls were moving on the floor Those parables, they were merciless and the tables overturned And there were no minor miracles but false prophets They were burned Well, maybe he was Jesus; but his hair could have used a comb Long before he hit the last notes, we boys had all gone home oh, yeah, when Jesus came to play Oh Jesus, is it really you?