Rain pouring down my head pounds from the sound I'm stuck to the bed with brain zaps in my head I can't fall asleep I cannot stay awake I cry 'til I weep I shiver and I shake I think of you I think of you I think of you it's all that I can do And Lord knows I've tried I'm trying hard to change I wish I knew why I always stay the same This is not who I want to be This is not who I want to be I am slowly killing me No, this is not who I want to be I wish I was scared of poison pills and pain I wish I was scared of damage to my brain But finally I see I should be scared of me How'd I come to be my own worst enemy? This is not who I want to be This is not who I want to be I am slowly killing me No, this is not who I want to be