so. this is how it feels to be. (forget what the past used to be). this is how it feels to be. alone. remembering. walking with you under traffic lights. (it meant so much more to me). protecting my injured heart. the puddles on the grey concrete can't reflect the warmth you hold inside your breast. rain can't wash away the guilt i bear for all of this. rain won't clean up what you left in me. rain can't wash it away. rain won't clean up anything that has been broken and spilled. loved and forgotten. promised and laughed at. i just beg for honesty. and I am back at square one. in year 25 after this misery has begun. i endured the ice-age and i faced the sea. and all i earned are sleepless nights and what they call personality. I am not enough. i never will be. no destination has got the right way for me. I am not enough. this is just me.