This some shit I just need to vocalize Arguments with the family, we scream until our vocals fry Used to get jealous whenever one of my friends would get showered in compliments by by they parents Used to wish they were mine Not to say I’m not grateful for what my family provided But at times I was wishing I had more gentle guidance And not to be called a pussy just ‘cause I envied kindness’ Or be made a social pariah ‘cause I enjoy the silence My fondest memories clouded by ambiguity ‘Cause most of them moments that I had cherished had felt bittersweet You would have thought that some progress would earn some trust in me But it seems I’m still fighting so they could hear me speak Asian traditions telling me to respect the fam But at what cost? Should I continue to neglect the chance To vocalize my feelings and feeling inadequate? I grabbed a pen so I could vent and show ‘em all how much this rapping shit had mean to me How much it really saved my soul and helped me and keep the peace How painting pictures with these flows, I was healed with ink How strong I felt when on the stage with my first sixteens Felt like I be super powered-up, nothing could damage me So thank God for the Joey Bads The capital steezs, underachieversand and A$APs The Earl Sweats, Team BackPacks and Miller Macs Vinny Stape, K-Dot had me thinking the West was back Schoolboy was chilling in school; boy, was my brodie smacked Bumpin’ Pro Era, I felt fly, like: Where CJ at? Doomsday coming, I hear ‘em yelling in all caps Still remember when Logic bodied that Under Pressure track Even Lil B had me shook with them exhibit raps Even had an edgier era, was spinnin’ Hopsin back The way I freestyle, you would have thought I brought Mamba back ‘Cause I was getting hungrier every year when I wasn’t rapping I was tryna see how to put the game in a body cast And take ‘em out if anybody want to try me out Then I’ma walk ‘em down and show they asses where the coffin at Like, just to show them I could rap Like, yeah, just to show them I could rap Like, yeah, just to show them I could rap ‘Cause all the things, the diamond, the gold rings I’m good off all of that if I could show them how to rap Look, I’m tryna build me a milli to get my brothers up ‘Cause some of them don’t know about a feeling of when the Sun is up Some of them been in survival state since they was young And I just wanna build a world where my peoples don’t need to care about none I got a homie whose mind is sharp and they grindin’ hard But when you from the P’s, it’s hard just tryna find a start One of my guys lost his pops and had to go to work the day right after Back to the same routine, living life reversed Don’t got the time to be processing any of the pain Numb the pain just to pass the days off minimum wage A numbing cycle, he waking up just to end the day In the same place he woke up in, and shit don’t change I thank God one of my guys made it out the mud I pray his company earn him a million in funds One of my guys gettin’ extorted by his landlord I wish I had a crib, I could swing them to keep them up above I’m always movin’ with love in my heart Strength in my steps, never waver, I never forget For those I cherish, you should know, I’m forever in debt Within my soul, I’m a rap ‘til we can all take a breath ‘Til we can all eat together ‘Til we can all take that flight out to Japan, like we said, without all the pitfalls of life ‘Til we can feast without stressing ‘bout what we eatin’ at night But ‘til then, I’ll be grinding until we all eatin’ right (yeah, alright) So when the party dies, I’m hoping I still got time To build me a legacy, and my name be immortalized I’m hoping my circle flourish, no stressing pennies or dimes I pray my brothers succeed with businesses multiplied I pray one day I could look at my pops and tell them I love him Despite the fact that I’ve never embraced him or vocalized it I’m hoping my mom retires, she overdue for vacation The trauma that she been through, she be the toughest one alive To my sisters and my cousins, I’m grateful for they support Even though affection is a luxury we can’t afford But despite all of the clowning and joking and back and forth I wouldn’t change it for a thing; they still my family, of course This the life I been living, keep it true to a T I wasn’t capping when I said I’ll move my guys out the P’s Think I’m acting when it’s culture, it’s the reason I breathe So when I say that these my brothers, that’s the shit that I mean Word is bond