Loving myself, but it hurts sometimes Suicide note, got it in my mind Drop ten bands, couldn't hurt my pride And I ride for the fans, but it hurts sometimes like Every night it haunts me, I just wanna end my life Pick that bottle up again and then I'll run into the knife, saying like I don't wanna go back home, swear I'm still trapped inside it I don't wanna go back home, my soul, I can't find it And all I ever write about is death and despair But those feelings always fade away, they just don't compare To, you, and to you, I pray to God that you don't run Take one step I'll load the gun, just to fire at my emptiness Got clean but every day still miss it, crushed up pills really blind my vision 2019 worst year of my life but I came right back now I'm back on the grind Back then really thought I had a death wish Still do but this time I won't suppress it Smoked green just to ease the aggression But it never gets rid of my depression Look inside, yeah, my soul's all black Never really thought they fucking with me like that Just a young dumb kid, now that kid got plaques And he burst right through and he got the last laugh like But no matter my successes That noose stay tied round my neck, shit Twenty-six still got so many questions I feel blessed but it never really set in Every day I don't wanna wake up Been so long since I felt love One more day, I might draw blood I don't even wanna try to fix my mistakes You save me from myself when I get closer to the flames When I'm lost and in the darkness, I still know I'll find a way To, you, and to you, I pray to God that you don't run Take one step I'll load the gun, just to fire at my emptiness