I ain't no Christian or no born again saint I ain't no cowboy or Marxist D.A. I ain't no criminal or Reverend Cripple from the right I am just your average guy Trying to do what's right I'm just your average guy, an average guy I am just an average guy I'm just your average guy Average guy, I'm just your average guy I'm average looking And I'm average inside I'm an average lover And I live in an average place You wouldn't know me If you met me face to face I'm just your average guy, average guy Average guy, I'm just an average guy I worry about money and taxes and such I worry that my liver's big And it hurts to the touch I worry about my health and bowels And the crime waves in the street I'm really just your average guy Trying to stand on his own two feet I'm just your average guy I'm just your average guy I'm just your average guy, average guy Average looks, average taste, average height An average waist, average in everything I do My temperature is 98.2F I'm just your average guy An average guy, average guy I'm just an average guy, average guy I'm just your average guy ... average