How lovely to sit here in the shade With none of the woes of man and maid I'm glad I'm not young anymore The rivals that don't exist at all The feeling you’re only two feet tall I'm glad that I'm not young anymore No more confusion No morning after surprise No self delusion That when you're telling those lies, she isn't wise And even if love comes through the door The kind that goes on for evermore For evermore is shorter than before Oh, I'm so glad that I'm not young anymore No more frustration No star crossed lover am I No aggravation just one reluctant reply Lady, bye, bye The fountain of youth is as dull as paint Methuselah is my patron saint I've never been so comfortable before I'm so glad that I'm not young anymore