Set fire to your hair Poke a stick at a grizzly bear Eat medicine that's out of date Use your private parts as Piranha bait Dumb ways to die So many dumb ways to die Dumb ways to die-ie-ie So many dumb ways to die Get your toast out with a fork Do your own electrical work Teach your self how to fly Eat a two week old unrefridgerated pie Dumb ways to die So many dumb ways to die Dumb ways to die-ie-ie So many dumb ways to die Invite a psycho killer inside Scratch a drug dealer's brand new ride Take your helmet off in outer space Use a clothes dryer as a hiding place Dumb ways to die So many dumb ways to die Dumb ways to die-ie-ie So many dumb ways to die Keep a rattle snake as a pet Sell both your kidneys on the internet Eat a tube of super glue I wonder what's this red button do Dumb ways to die So many dumb ways to die Dumb ways to die-ie-ie-ie So many dumb ways to die Dress up like a moose during hunting season Disturb a nest of wasps for no good reason Stand on the edge of a train station platform Drive around the boom gates at a level crossing Run across the tracks between the platforms They may not rhyme, but they're quite possibly The dumbest ways to die The dumbest ways to die The dumbest ways to die-ie-ie-ie So many dumb So many dumb ways to die Be safe around trains A message from metro