I wake up reaching for a ghost in my bed Your side's still cold but you're warm in my head I talk to the ceiling like it answers back Like it knows why I ran when we were on track You used to say my silence was loud That loving me felt like screaming in a crowd I laughed it off said you were dramatic Didn't know ignoring love could be so tragic I was addicted to freedom afraid of the truth Thought could make me mad losing the best of my youth You asked forever I gave you time to later so much It turned into goodbyes I thought you wait I thought you stayed I didn't know hearts haven't indeed I learned the cost of pushing you away Now every memory hits me in waves I was wrong When I thought I was right Lost you slowly every night Now I'm holding apologies You'll never hear Talking to your name like you're still here You beg me to fight. I chose my pride Now it's too late to be right this time I see your laugh on a stranger's page Funny how pain don't fade with age You look lighter like love finally fits While I'm drowning in the what'd You used to beg me to open my heart I kept it locked like that made me smart Didn't know walls don't just block the bad They block the best thing I ever had You held my hand through my darkest days When I couldn't even stare my own way I repay you with distance and out Made you feel alone while you were reaching out Oh now the nights feel longer than before I hear your footsteps that aren't at my door Love was speaking I turned it down Now I hear it screaming in the silence around I was wrong when I thought I was right Yeah you cry yourself to sleep at night Now I'm holding apologies you'll never hear Writing sings like they'll bring you near You beg me to fight I chose my pride Now it's too late to be right this time I blame the timing blame the stress Blamed everything but my own neglect You ask for reassurance I gave you space Didn't know space could erase a face I told myself you'd always understand Didn't realize love needs more than plans You needed presence honesty proof I gave you distance dresses up as truth I remember the night you stopped trying Your voice so calm your eyes still crying That was the moment I should have changed But I watched you even stay the same If regret had a sound it'd be your goodbye If karma had a face it looked like mine I'd trade every victory every high Just to go back and make it right I know love don't wait forever I know some scars don't heal together But if you ever question your word No losing you was my biggest hurt I miss the fights I miss the pain cause at least then you knew my name Now I'm just a chapter you survived While I'm stuck reading the same lines I was wrong when I thought I was right Thought love would wait while I took my time Now I'm holding apologies you never hear Wishing regret could disappear You beg me to fight I chose my pride Now it's too late to be right this time So here's my truth no disguise You were the realest thing in my life I lost you now cause love was weak Because I didn't love the way you needed me So happy now I won't interfere I'll just carry the lesson year by year I was wrong when I thought I was right Losing you is how I learned that for life