I lie awake beside myself Questioning the thing I built Was it love or just a shape Of something I convinced myself? My body feels misplaced tonight Like straw torn from its quiet field Pushed away from where it grew Forced to become something unreal They try to pull me out of here Say my silence isn't fair But every word I try to speak Turns into a weight I cannot bear I just want to be alone Feel the wind against my face Not a voice to tell me how I should carry all this weight If I say it, they get mad If I hide it, I decay So I choose the quiet side Where no one asks me to stay I've been watching love collapse Like a fire left in the rain Promises that swore forever Turn to rituals of pain Happy endings feel like myths Something distant, never mine I got used to seeing endings Wear a halo in disguise When will I be allowed to say That I don't feel safe inside? I'm not living, I'm distracted Watching pieces of me hide I just want to be alone Feel the wind against my face No expectations in my chest No performance left to fake If your love is dressed in lies And your lies feel more like home Then I'd rather choose the void And finally be alone