The mustard musketeers Travelled the world calming the fears Of the ladies in waiting Twas a glorious time Swords and swoons and magic harpoons And white horseback riding The mustard musketeers Huffed and puffed til they puffed away Everyone's sorrows Then they rode away Into directionless dust and no one could say Where they'd end up tomorrow The time went by and They got older Skies got hotter and Days got colder It's paper or plastic... So the mustard musketeers Scaled their last castle wall and went in Undercover One went in dressed like a priest One went as a gardner And one went in as a lawyer