Someone, please, save us Us, college kids What my parents told me Is what I did They said: Go to school and Be a college kid But, in the end I questioned why I did I'm poor, I'm starving, I'm flat broke, I've got no cash to spend Sell all my books for front row tickets to Dave Matthews Band My girlfriend's at another school, I know this year will test her I called, found out she had three other boyfriends last semester And that's why I say (Oh, no) not for me, not for me Call it torture, call it university (No) arts and crafts is all I need I'll take calligraphy and then I'll make a fake degree Eighty grand later, I found out that all that I had learned Is that you should show up to take your finals and your mid-terms The party scene is kind of mean, I think it's sick and twisted The Navy showed up at my door and claimed that I enlisted And that's why I say (Oh, no) not for me, not for me Call it torture, call it university (No) arts and crafts is all I need I'll take calligraphy and then I'll make a fake degree Don't get excited, she'll say: No, without a doubt, you'll see And I've decided college girls just won't go out with me They make me nervous and they always catch me off my guard Like cell phone service, I drop out 'cause college is too hard It's time to call my father 'Cause it's his Alma Mater Good grades aren't what they seem I think he knows the dean It's time to call my father 'Cause it's his Alma Mater He says he's proud of me But college always was his dream And I would always say: It's not for me (Oh, no) not for me, not for me Call it torture, call it university (No) arts and crafts is all I need I'll take calligraphy and then I'll make a fake degree Someone, please, save us Us, college kids What my parents told me Is what I did They said: Go to school and Be a college kid But, in the end I questioned why I did Do what will make you happy (someone, please, save us) Do what you feel is right (us, college kids) Only but one thing matters (what my parents told me) Learn how to live your life (is what I did) Do what will make God happy (they said: Go to school and) Do what you feel is right (be a college kid) Only but one thing matters (but, in the end) Learn how to live your life