I'm waging war with myself Not sure if I should listen to my body or the brain that's giving hell I wish it wasn't so easy to exhale and let it go (Don't you ever want to hold it in?) 'Cause I wanna feel this hate, this hate get physical In meditation I would lie (to myself, how I'd lie to myself, how I'd lie) Breaking my own code, pushing my limits till I've made myself blind It's not so bad And I could never be like that All the sense that I've spent on defence could never be paid back It's not so bad And I could never be like that All the sense that I've spent on this defence could never be paid back Fuck what you made me Look what you made me do The vow I've taken to love all that we go through And to understand I've laughed off the anger, the outrage That's not who I am And yet I am I was told to get out of my head Release my reservations, stop making it make sense How do I get there if I don't want to make it real? I wanna feel the hate get physical, but I don't trust the way it feels Ah, you know I'll never be like that I'll accept violence at my expense, but when I turn my back Mm, I wanna feel the hate get Physical Fuck what you made me Look what you made me do The vow I've taken to love all that we go through And to understand I've laughed off the anger, the outrage That's not who I am And yet I am (It's not so bad) Sedate me before I ever get cynical, 'cause I wanna feel the hate get physical (It's not so bad) Sedate me before I ever get cynical, 'cause I wanna feel the hate get physical