Valerie

Oh Valerie! You give me heart attack 
Oh Valerie! You put me on the rack 
Oh you say that I'm history, you say I'm no good 
Then you want to be two babes in the wood 
That's what I call playing to the gallery 
Well I'm a-wait, wait, waiting for Valerie 

Hey Valerie! She got a scar down here 
Valerie! She got gold in her ear 
A figure like this, lips like that 
Red fingernails, teeth like a cat 
She never gets home till five or four or three 
Well I'm a-wait, wait, waiting for Valerie 

Well I'm soft in the head, I give her hard cash 
She spends all my money on junk and trash 
Nylon fur, plastic shoes 
And fifty-seven things she's never going to use 
Never, never, never going to use 
Oh Valerie! Oh Valerie! Oh Valerie! 

Well Valerie! You're going to choke or drown 
Valerie! Why don't you put that down? 
If you don't get over this eating jag 
They're going to take you home in a body bag 
I can't stand to see one more calorie 
Well I'm a-wait, wait, waiting for Valerie 

Now every time I turn my back 
She's 'round the corner, looking for a crack 
It's going to be the ruin of me 
Well I'm running on nervous energy 
Running on nervous energy 

Oh Valerie! She want to move out of town 
Valerie! She want the money down 
She want leopard-skin this, tiger-skin that 
Matching luggage, lipstick, hat 
I can't afford her on my salary 
Still I'm a-wait, wait, waiting for Valerie 
I'm a-wait, wait, waiting for Valerie 
Hmm I'm a-wait, wait, waiting for Valerie 

Valerie! Oh Valerie! Well! Whooo!