It's not FlingSmash, Geist, or Burnout Crash Not Mario Party 6 or Ultra Smash Neither Clubhouse Games or Wii Fit Plus Nor Family Feud on SNES All the games I've played, whether good or bad Have tropes in common, my favorite doodads It may be rushed, or plain, or flawed But they ain't RPGs—oh, thank God Are my tastes just bad? Am I the one to blame? Or is it RPGs that are dumb and lame? Why don't you play them? They just take so damn long to complete Why don't you play them? 60 hours, just to rinse and repeat But you could grind for years to beat that boss, oh Why waste all this time on just one game? Why don't you play them? Turn-based battles and too much text I'd rather be out not having sex Menu clutter and useless stats And random encounters can kiss my ass No gameplay till hours in Combat-ready? How did I win? The same thing happens over again And that there fun part comes up when? I miss one thing and now I'm lost That one inch of text really meant a lot? Some shops with items I can't afford So grind for money, you won't be bored I'm tired, I'm scared, I'm not having fun There's no other way this can be spun What do I do? What do I check? It's an RPG, what did I expect? Why don't you play them? They're so good though Listen, guys You can't have opinions Why don't you play them? They're not my style Start a new file! Why don't you, why-why don't you Number two: Wait your turn, fucker