If the lady's naughty but proper (you say) If the lady's chic-er than chic (there you) If her escorts must wear a topper And each man's the man of the week If she rides around in a brand new foreign car The chances are (The chances are what, bill?) The lady's a star (fuck you) If the lady's utterly charming If the lady's chummy with kings If her whims are close to alarming And it's known she's thrown a few things If they've got a drink with her name in (where?) in Jilly's bar The chances are The lady's a star If her smallest party is really expensive With tons of expensive caviar If the lady is Someone With the same credentials Someone With the same essentials Someone Who is worshipped from afar She's a genuine (What's next?) Positive (Right!) Totally Marvelous Perfectly Wonderful She's a great big... Come on Come on