It's christmas time and Santa's here making the children smile But he's just a pedophile So you better watch your child Chistmas trees in every house Covered in shiny lights But just turn brown and die Or set your whole house on fire These are the reasons I hate the season But I'm a give it a try Maybe this year I won't be sad on Christmas Maybe I'll have a happy holiday Replace my heartche and my pain With mistletoe and candy canes This Christmas will go my way Having fun with all your friends Sipping on that egg nog But it just look like jizz All ober your upper lips House made out of ginger brea Cookies like Christmas trees Giving your heart disease And type two diabetes (It's only diabetes) These are the reasons I hate the season But I'm a give it a try Maybe this year I won't be sad on Christmas Maybe I'll have a happy holiday Replace my heartche and my pain With mistletoe and candy canes This chistmas will go my way I've never seen reindeer fly I've never heard the sleigh bells ring Never seen a snowman come to life I've never heard the angels sing But I hope and I pray That maybe the Christmas day That'll change Maybe this year I won't be sad on Christmas Maybe I'll have a happy holiday Replace my heartche and my pain With all the mistletoe and candy canes This Christmas will go my Maybe this year I won't be sad on Christmas Maybe I'll have a happy holiday Replace my heartche and my pain Let's just dance the night away This Christmas is going my way Just dance with me